Train Up Not Down

When I think of Proverbs 22:6 "Train up children in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it.", I think about how God says train up and not train down. Many parents are constantly in a state of frustration with their children. If this is the case, it is most likely because you don't have peace yourself. Children sense the reality of actions, feelings and attitudes in the home. Of course, we all get frustrated. We all get tired. We all get tired of training in the same area. I am not talking about moments of frustration but a life of frustration.

When I think of train down I think of constantly nagging, constantly correcting, constantly wanting to spank, constantly doing everything for our children, constantly letting the children just play all day by themselves, constantly letting the children do whatever they want and constantly using words and actions that do not bring life. The verse that comes to mind is
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

When I think of train up I think of training up in every area of life not just their spiritual life. Our spiritual life is not disconnected from the rest of our life. Training up involves using words and actions that bring life and blessing. We should be training ourselves as parents for godliness and endurance. We are to live our lives as God's Word tells us. We are to train them each step of the way to do more and more for themselves. They too need their mind and bodies engaged and active rather than just in mindless activity all day. They need grace. They need to be spoken to with love as we speak God's Word throughout the day. We are to train them how to do daily chores like making a bed, bringing dishes to sink, putting away dishes, and taking clothes out of washer. We all need room to make mistakes and learn. The scripture that comes to mind is:
Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Scripture for Proverbs 31 Study: Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.  One of the most important aspects of training up is knowing your own child. God gifted and made each child different. We are to know their specific characteristics, bents, family sin issues, individual sins, what each one can do, and what each child naturally gravitates to.

Observation:
1. To train up: The Hebrew word hanakh means “to dedicate” or “to consecrate.” It’s used only four times in the Old Testament, three times in reference to dedicating a building and once of a child in Proverbs 22:6. A closely related Hebrew word hanakh, pictures the custom of a midwife dipping her finger into a pool of crushed dates in order to massage the palate and gums of a newborn.
2. In the way. Hebrew Derek - way. This is probably the most debated phrase in the proverb. The Hebrew is quite simply “in accordance with his way” or, even more literally, “upon the mouth of his way” (there’s the image of mouth again).

Application: When I first became a parent, I thought I could read a parenting book and then try to get my son to fit that mold. This brought immense frustration and guilt.  My son has always been vocal and he does not do everything as everyone else does. He actually has many Godly leader qualities, and he is only 3 1/2. I have noticed when I live my life as God instructs, my child observes that and wants to do likewise. For many aspects of training, it is doing it and offering it over and over. It reminds me of vegetables. When Nehemiah first started eating, he ate everything. However, as he got older, he decided he did not like certain vegetables. I keep eating them and I keep offering them to him. I ask him to take one bite. I have noticed that the more he takes one bite and spits it out that he is developing a taste for many things he initially said he did not like. We are to guide our children towards God's best in all things.

Recently, my son and I have been reading the Proverbs at breakfast. He asks many questions. Then we draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper. We write fool on one side and wise on the other side. We talk about "the way" a fool goes which is always the crooked path. We also talk about "the way" a wise person goes which is always the straight path. We search out the wisdom in God's Word and we discuss it. Then throughout the day in whatever we do and wherever we are, we ask God to help us walk in the way of His wisdom. We want to be wise and not fools.

Many people say that the proverbs are principles not promises. I know God's word never comes back void. There are times that children may turn but if they have been trained and God's Spirit is alive in them and they have Jesus Christ, I believe they will return.

Verses on Training :
2 Timothy 2:1-7
You therefore, my ^[a] son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.  Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier. Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he ^[b]does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules. The hard-working farmer ought to be the first to receive his share of the crops. Consider what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.

Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Titus 2:3-5
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Hebrews 5:14
But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Hebrews 12:11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Prayer: Lord, thank you that you give us strength to keep up training. Thank you for your Word is what trains us in righteousness. May I be faithful in the things you have given me to do.

Blessed are the....

Scripture: Proverbs 31:28

Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: (NASB)

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. (NKJ)

Observation:

The word rise up could mean to stand (excitedly). Blessed is the Hebrew word Ashar which means to  be happy, blessed. It also means .go straight, walk, go on, advance, make progress, and to be led on.

1.  Her children take a stand and they bless their Mother

2. It appears that blessings are observed and given based on what the children see 

Application

 When I hear Proverbs 31: 28, I am reminded of Matthew 5:3-11
(Beatitudes) and the blessed are the ___________. The first one is “Blessed are the poor in spirit,for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Without being poor in spirit and knowing and receiving everything from God, we cannot be the Proverbs 31 woman. We have to be spiritually bankrupt before God. All of our doing is like filthy rags before God. Everything comes from His hand.  The character mentioned in Matthew 5 speaks of why one would be called Blessed which include: poor in spirit, one who mourns, one who is meek,  one who hungers and thirsts for righteousness, one who is merciful, one who is pure in heart, one who is a peacemaker, and who who is persecuted because of righteousness. 
      

My son is only 3 ½ so he is not grown, but I already see fruits of him blessing me. He spontaneously will tell me “You are lovely and beautiful”, “I love you”, “You are the best Mommy”. When I asks him how he knows something that I was surprised that he knew he says “you do that”. There are so many things that my son observes about me that I am not aware. I love how he is attentive and speaks out what he sees. His first reaction when he sees my husband and I not agreeing is to pray for us. If he notices anything that is not love, he prays.  Likewise, Nehemiah sees his Father blessing me and praising me and him. Nehemiah does not speak the words we speak as a blessing but his words of love and praise pour out. I love how they are spontaneous and a true reflection of love. 

Of course when children are grown, you see even more fruit but I don't think children have to be all grown to be a child after God's own heart. Jesus says let the children come to Him. When trained early and God's spirit comes into their life early, they are easily trainable and malleable. This does not mean that there are not frustrating moments and moments of sin. We still have those moments in our own life. However, life is not characterized by those moments in which discipline and correction is needed according to God's word. Sometimes we as parents see something as "sin" or frustrating but we don't take the time to see what our attitudes were like that day. Also, sometimes the child just needs training in that area and we need to do it. Sometimes it truly is sin but it is not personal toward us. They are sinning against God and we have the authority to train and correct. Grace is also important.  I have seen prayer work with regard to peace in our homes. When we put on the armor of God and engage in the battle of prayer, God works His Fruit of Love into our homes and lives.

My husband praises me as well. I have been having strangers coming up to me and praising me too. Many times, I need to let this sink in as there were many years of a critical spirit in our home. God is so good to know what we need before we ask. He is so good to provide a good word in due season to encourage us.

I try not to live on praises of my child, husband or others but on what God thinks of me. It is good to be praised by others and it is encouraging but I don’t want to lose heart just because I am not getting outward praise.  I want to be blessed because of the things that God says we are blessed for in Matthew 5.

Prayer: Lord, nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling. I pray that I am a Mother that clings to the cross. May I be blessed because I follow hard after you. Lord, may I continue to do everything heartily onto you.