Peace in the Home

Continuing Part 1 of Unless God Builds the House

PEACE IN THE HOME

I thought I was ready to go on and write about Ungodly v. Godly Counsel but I sense I need to write more on a topic I addressed in the last post.  In the last post, I gave an example of vanity in trying to build my own house by creating chaos in my family life by trying to make a meal and house look perfect for Holidays or guests. Proverbs 17:1 says “Better is a dry morsel with quietness than a house full of feasting with strife.” Proverbs 15:16-7 is similar to Proverbs 17:1. It says “Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble with it. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it. 

You can have nice, gourmet meals and a nice house with peace and love present, but I believe the instruction here is that it is better to have love and peace in the home rather than putting all of our effort into big meals, spotless house, great education plan, or great gifts. There is nothing wrong with those things but the problem is if we create strife or chaos in our home in doing those things. I was inspired to write more on this verse and how it is vanity to try to build our own home either without God or with God but in reality trying to do everything in our own strength and with our own “good ideas”.

A lack of peace in the home can take many forms. It can involve yelling at our spouse or our children. It can be focusing more on discipline rather than love and understanding our child.  It can look like a hurried, frenzied pace. A lack of peace can be present through a feeling of uneasiness with just sitting in the living room watching our children play. There may be thoughts or comments “I don’t have enough time.”, “I have to go do___________”, or “I can never have a minute alone.”. Many people may think there is peace because they never argue but that is not peace. Unresolved conflicts also show a lack of peace in the home. Others may feel like they don’t want to bring up an issue because they don’t want to rock the boat. They are constantly walking on eggshells. A lack of peace looks different in each home. A home should be a safe place where each member of the family is valued and respected.

In our home, I have to be careful with negative thoughts or with grumbling or complaining about what I perceive that my husband didn’t help me with. Even if I don’t say anything, this mindset can create stress in the home. It takes away God’s love and peace when I harbor negative thoughts or a grumbling attitude against my spouse. It doesn’t matter whether I am right or wrong, it matters that God’s peace is reigning.  After I wrote the first part of this post on the above verse, I heard a message that was in line with what God was teaching me about the home. I recommend listening to The Essentials of A Healthy Family (Focus on the Family with Jim Daly) by Tommy Nelson. You can find it by going to oneplace.com (Focus on the Family – March archives).

Without God, we cannot have peace. Many of us who have professed faith in Jesus Christ do not have peace because (1) we will not die to own wants and desires; (2) we are striving in own strength rather than trusting in the Lordship of Jesus Christ; (3) we are sin by continuing to fret and worry when the Lord has told us over and over in His Word not to worry or be anxious.

I am asking God’s peace to rule in my home and my prayer is that His peace rules in your home.    Even if our house has a quietness to it, our minds may be filled with to do lists and the next thing we have to accomplish. This is what steals my joy and the ability to hear the Lord. Many times the starting point for me is to ask God to quiet my mind so that I can truly be present with my family. I want to hear their laughter and the funny little things they say. I don’t want to just physically be present. After asking the Lord to quiet my mind, it is important that my mind is renewed. Romans 12:2 (ESV) says “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We need to be able to hear and discern what God’s will is so that we as fellow workers recognize how God wants our house built. God always renews my mind through His Word. His Word reveals my own motives and how at times I am following the world’s way or my own ways. Third, peace comes from walking in His truth and repenting when I have blown it. It is asking God for forgiveness and telling others in our household we are sorry. It is not pretending something didn’t happen or never talking about it again. We want a true peace in our home. I pray true peace enters your heart and home as well.

Verses

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 32:17
The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.