To Know God and Make Him Known

NO TURNING BACK -TO KNOW GOD AND MAKE HIM KNOWN

This last week of January,started off like every other Monday, we dressed and prepared for our day for Classical Conversations, our homeschool co-op. On the way, I noticed some light snow flurries. I wondered whether I should take the hills or take the highway. Since it was early in the morning and the snow had just started lightly, I decided to take the hills. It was a beautiful day.

On one of the hills, a man started spinning out of control . It appeared, he was going to slide down the hill or remain stuck. Believing I had no choice, I slowed down and stopped on the hill. Then when it was safe to go, I tried to proceed up the hill, but my van would not go. I put the van in reverse and tried again. Nothing! I could not get up the hill. I tried backing up and going farther down the hill but still my van would not go forward and get the momentum needed to go up the hill. 

It was not safe to keep reversing it back down this big hill because at the bottom of the hill was a big turn.. There was also a big ditch to the right of our van. What to do? I continued to pray for The Lord to help us to get up the hill. Nehemiah is crying and he is visibly upset. Thoughts are going through his mind that he is vocalizing like "Why did God allow this?" , "Why didn't God get us up the hill?", "Will we ever see Mopsie (our dog) again?", "Will we make it?". Through trying to get the car up the hill, I am doing my best to rely on God and calm my five year old son down. I had never seen him afraid like this and I had never seen him so shaken. I assured him God had us and we were safe. I told him to keep praying. He prays out loud. He cries out to God. Then I hear through the tears "no turning back, no turning back".

Hearing the words "no turning back" as a song from my son, I realize I should stop trying to go down this dangerously slip road in reverse as (1) someone could hit us from behind and (2) we almost ended up in the ditch. As I look at the questions my son was asking, I see the same questions have passed through my mind on many occasions. I just don't vocalize them now so much but God hears them in my heart. I hug Nehemiah and I remove him from the van. Just as I am walking down the hill, not knowing what to do, I cry out to God again to send someone. Along comes a man at that moment in his car and he asks us if we need help.

The man named Chris helps us get the van turned around to go down the hill. I wanted to do this but wasn't sure if I could make the narrow turn and avoid traffic coming up and down the hill (or should i say sliding up and down the hill). We thank the man. The whole time Nehemiah just asks "DO YOU KNOW JESUS?"  Chris, never did answer but we thank him. He stopped and he helped and we thanked God. Nehemiah tells him God put "no turning back" song on his heart to sing as we were in the van. 

Now we sit in the van at the bottom of the hill. What do we do? There are huge hills to the left and huge hills to the right. If I go to the right, I am not sure the car will make some of the hills going home. If I go to the left, will my van make it up the hill that we just tried but failed to do. My husband calls and tells me he called the property Manager of our Church who is about ten minutes away. Help is coming. 

Help arrives.  He offers to try to drive the van up this big hill.  However, he would need to walk down this big hill to get his car. I didn't feel safe with him doing that. We tried to get car seat out but that was not going to work because his car didn't have the correct seat fasteners. A decision is made to just drive me to Church and he would get his car later. Thank God for brothers in The Lord who sacrifice to help others all the time.

The van slides on some hills but we make it.  Later on as we are driving home on these same hills, Nehemiah says in a determined, confident voice "All this has made me know God!" I turn around and ask "Didn't you already know him?" He replies, " I knew Him but not like today. Today, I know Him more." I smile thinking how true it is that God bless us with knowing Him more today. Through a time of our faith being shaken, God revealed Himself to us.

We thought that was the end of challenging day. It was 3:00 pm. I was running out of gas and just made it to HESS. Then we decided to pick up some groceries and make a quick trip to the library to return some books.  Everything went smoothly until on the way home. An accident blocked our way home. Again, which way to go. If I go straight, I would have to travel all the way to next town and around where we live only to get home. The policeman points straight. I ask him if I can turn left although left is away from home, I know it loops me back to a place that is somewhat shorter than going straight. 

We get home thanking God all the way. We thank God when we arrive home safely from this long day. As I open the back of the van to get the groceries out, everything tumbles out. Glass shatters as it hits our driveway and bright red spaghetti sauce splatters. Now as I reflect it reminds me of Jesus blood spilled out for us among all the broken pieces of our lives. It is cold and I am tired. I get groceries into the house. I plan to go out later to pick up the pieces of glass when my husband gets home.

My husband arrives home a few minutes later. As I was getting the Chili on the table for dinner, I have severe pain in my left side (under my ribs). I thought it would go away but the pain intensifies and moves up my chest. I try to sit but the pain is too intense. I go upstairs to pray. It is getting worse. My son and husband are now worried. I calm them down but they are both running around looking very concerned. I decide to go get it checked at the ER. I am not sure if I can drive myself as the pain is increasing but it is only down the road. The sauce and broken glass is still in the driveway as my husband quickly grabs a street cleaning broom to remove the shards.

Three hours later, I asked to be released from the ER because it seems the pain disappeared as quickly as it came. After talking to the Doctor, he said that gas could have been caught in the left upper quadrant. They wanted to do more testing and x-rays after the initial EKG, blood work and preliminary testing, but I assured them I was fine. I had peace from God to deny all the x-rays at this lpoint. Praise God it is not an organ issue or a heart issue. My prayer of seeing son before he fell asleep was answered. I arrived home just as my son was falling asleep. I hugged, kissed him and praised God with him and my husband. 

As Nehemiah is falling asleep he says again "I definitely know God more today than I did yesterday. This has been my best day ever." Despite such a "rough" day, my son could say two things 1. I know God more today and 2. This day despite all the crying out, tears, pain, being stuck on hills, not being able to turn home, broken glass - THIS WAS THE BEST DAY EVER! 

That morning before all the chaos, my prayer excerpt from my journal was: "Prayer: Lord and Savior and Overcomer, thank you that you are our joy and peace. Thank you that you hear our prayers and you answer them in your way and your time. Thank you Lord that being with you is the best! Help me to spend time praying - talking and listening to you this am before day gets rolling. It is still dark here and I thank you that you light our day before the sun rises. Let me be singing when the evening sun goes down too. Lord, I lift up all the ladies and their families and pray you would give them the mind of Christ throughout their day and let them seek you early!!! I Love you JESUS!!!"  

The line from my prayer that stuck out to me is "Let me be singing when the evening sun goes down too." That night despite difficulties, pains and trials, we all were singing long past the time when the evening sun went down thanks to our Mighty God who is mighty to save, mighty to protect and mighty in power.

As the week went by, in addition to knowing Him more daily, God put on my heart to make Him known.  As we were reading the biography of Watchman Nee at the end of this week,our hearts were overcome with tears for the loss. There was a story in the book Heroes of the Faith - Wathchman Nee, Man of Suffering by Bob Laurent about a retired commander who thought all Christians were hypocrites and he cursed and bet any Christian who spoke of Jesus or passed his house. There was a young man named Todd who just received Jesus as His Lord and Savior and immediately heard this story and prayed "O Lord, you have shown grace to me. This is the first day of my salvation. I will go and witness to him." A couple begged him to not go as they feared for his life but Todd would not turn back. Again, I was reminded of my son singing "no turning back, no turning back." as we attempted to get up the snow covered hill at the start of the week. 

 Todd said he was going. Todd gets to the Commander's house and the Commander lets him in. Todd immediately says "I pray that you will accept The Lord Jesus as your Savior." The Commander gives Todd a chance to leave his house, but Todd refused to leave. Instead Todd says "I beg you to believe on The Lord Jesus." The Commander goes upstairs and gets his gun. He threatens to shoot Todd unless he leaves now. Todd said before you shoot me let me pray for you. "He knelt before thee commander and prayed 'O God, here is a man who does not know you. Please save him!" He stayed on his knees while the commander towered over him with the gun. "have mercy on him, Lord!" he cried out. "have mercy on the commander." (pg. 102-103)

Todd prayed like this for several minutes before he heard the sound of the gun being laid down. The commander knelt down and prayed and cried "O God, have mercy on Commander Deeds." The commander was saved!!! This is what the commander said to Todd "I have heard the gospel all my life, but today I have seen the gospel for the  first time." (pg. 103)  This story brought tears to our hearts and God  enlivened my heart to want to witness to whomever I would meet. I must admit, the words did not come yesterday but I prayed for those I met.

This week as I review the past week and give praise to God, I am reminded again of purpose in this life. I made for God. I am to know Him and make Him known. It is not about me. I am dead. My life is hid IN HIM.  Focusing on the Cross, the Gospel, the Good News that we were people in sin which separated us from our Father, our Holy God and made it impossible to have a relationship with God. God was still at work and still loved us but sin keeps us from knowing God. Knowing in Bible times and terms means being intimate with. It is not just an intellectual belief or knowledge like we may use the word in our culture. It also is not just an experience with God. It is having intimate daily fellowship through the only way possible, the cross. It is not about seeking within to find the answers. It is not about "inner healing" or "inner search for self" or "inner self examination". It is about seeing that the cross was enough. I do believe God heals and God reveals but not by any other means than the Cross. It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. 

This week, I focused on Him through His I am statements: I am the bread of life (John 6:35,48)

I am the light of the world (John 8:12; 9:5); Before Abraham was, I am (John 8:58); I am the door (John 10:9); I am the good shepherd (John 10:11); I am the resurrection and the life (John 11:25); I am the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6) and I am the true vine (I am the vine and you are the branches) (John 15:1, John 15:5). I thanked God for the Holy Spirit that came and lived in me at the moment of His salvation to me as I turned from me and turned to Him (all His doing by grace through faith in Who He says He is). I continued to praise Him from morning to night, and all week He has brought songs in my heart. 

I have been praying to lay down all selfish ambition, an idol of the heart, to want to do something great for God. This week, I learned more about God just wanting His greatness to shine out of me and to be with His greatness and to share His greatness. He put on my heart to share that we are to be mighty in spirit and not mighty in intellect. To be mighty in spirit is to have the inner witness of His Holy Spirit powerfully at work with His double edged sword, His Word. 

To God be the Glory and may every knee bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord!!!! I pray for all those who will read that God has mercy upon you and you be saved.  Yes we have a Savior who became sin who knew no sin to save us from our sins and bring us into intimate fellowship. He knows your name. He loves you with an everlasting love, and He desires to be a personal, intimate God to you. May you decide now to follow Jesus and never turn back. Always, keep the cross before you. Blessings!

Song - No Turning Back
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.

Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me; No turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zChBECGbHp8&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DzChBECGbHp8