These last 3 1/2 years have been a time of waiting. A time of waiting on God. All my other support systems have not been able to be there to rely on. Friendships waxed and waned. The ministry visions have not come to pass. One child allive, 4 children died in my womb. My family church has gone through so many changes and losses. Family has had misunderstandings. Career as a lawyer on hold. All the years of hospitality, dinners and people constantly over non-existing. My husband facing his own struggles at work and where God wants him. My Mom's lupus getting worse. My sister's fiancee dies to cancer at a young age. Lots of deaths in her family. Betrayal of trust. It has been a time in which all my trust muscles had to be strengthened. I could go on about loss and death and what looks like a stump - death. However, with Jesus despite the darkest days, we have HOPE! God is with me through it all. He comforts me and I am seeing shoots of His hope.
Today, December 1, 2013, we light the candle of HOPE. In this season of waiting, Hope is what I know God has taught me. Hope is not hope if it is seen. If it is seen, no longer need to hope. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Romans 5:3-5 - 3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame (disappoint), because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. We lived sealed by our inheritance, the Holy Spirit our Seal of the Promise, God with us forever.
In this waiting, I am reminded that the Holy Spirit is the seal of our inheritance. Hope does not disappoint because God poured out His love through the Holy Spirit. God does not live in a temple made by human hands but in human hearts that trust and believe in Him.
God's first creative act, In the Beginning found in Genesis, is that he spoke "LET THERE BE LIGHT". Light dispels the darkness. We speak God's Word (the Word that was in the beginning, Word was with God and the Word (JESUS) is GOd in John 1:1-4). Light, a light that does not just dispel physical darkness to light our path that we physically walk on, but a spiritual light that gives hope and wisdom in our darkest days. Our God is the God with us not the God that just says something. I read once from Ann Voskamp's Jesse Tree Experience that God spoke all of His creation into existence by His authority but His creative making of us humans was by his affection. He intimately created Adam from the dust and Eve from Adam's rib. He formed us and His design on all human life is that He is intimately involved. He knew us before He formed us in the womb. His speaking and His presence is our HOPE. He is our Hope.
Today, we made a candle/light ornament to remind us that God is our Light and that He wants us to see the springing forth of hope/the shoot of hope coming from the cut off stump. We read of the Assyrians raiding Jerusalem and in God's judgment to cut down all the great trees of Jerusalem. God does not leave his Nation without Hope. In the destruction there is always hope. We will be like trees planted by the waters bearing forth fruit in its season. Our roots in Him will be strong. We have a new family and new family roots. We have been grafted into this family by Jesus' death on the cross. He did what we couldn't do. We couldn't earn or be good enough to have a relationship with God. Jesus died and made available to all of us - HOPE, Hope with Him here and now and forever more. We don't have to worry, fret and live in fear. We can live in HOPE, LOVE, JOY and PEACE. Believe on His name and we will be saved. Trust in Him!
Going back to what I thought was cut off stumps and death in my life, I am seeing that life and light even in dark times. God is speaking life, light and hope. God has allowed me to pour into Nehemiah and Nehemiah is bringing many into His Kingdom. Everywhere he goes, He asks "Do you know Jesus?" His heart's cry is to be a fisher of men and he is sharing God's hope wherever he goes. Our other four children are with God. They have eternal souls and I believe I will see them one day.The career on hold as been good because I am now able to be home with Nehemiah and focus on sharing the Lord and being with family. Homeschooling has been wonderful to me t his year. Being home where God has me has been the biggest delight in my life but I didn't know this 6 years ago when I was pregnant and my job ended. I see roots growing deeper in other's life because God is doing it (not me). I do cry out to God and emotions are still there showing me hurt but God is strengthening me to see light in the darkness and speak out life to myself, family and others. LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!! There is a light in the darkness, His name is Jesus.
