OVERCOMPENSATION AND UNLEARNING
Being on voice rest which is suppose to be no talking unless is an emergency is making me reflect on what I really need to say. I must say I failed to follow Doctor's orders when I am around people. I still talk and I am not suppose to due to voice damage from a prior virus. When I had the virus, I believe I unconsciously started using muscles to overcompensate for loss of voice and hoarseness. Then the virus cleared up, but I was left with throat and neck pain due to the way my body overcompensated. The body has an amazing ability to overcompensate for a weak body part. The problem is it becomes an unintentional habit. These unintentional habits in our body's ability to compensate for a weaker part needs to be unlearned in order for the body to work as intended.
Likewise, there are habits we learned to overcompensate for fear, pain, loneliness, restlessness, inadequacy, rejection or any other issue we can think of. The Holy Spirit is at work in us making us more like Jesus Christ. Romans 12:1-2 says "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Our mind needs to be renewed and we need to unlearn things we learned in order to "function" during weakness, pain or trouble. The Lord wants us to depend on Him and not our own understanding of things.
The reason I write of overcompensation and unlearning today is because I believe I have "learned" to talk in order to compensate for a restlessness, craving for deep fellowship/relationship with others, feeling inadequate without the need to teach, share or talk. The definition of idle: lacking worth or basis; Vain. The definition of vain: having no real value; marked by futility or ineffectualness. I have definitely spoken words without worth or basis and that were ineffectual and had no real value.
Scriptures
~Prov 31:26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
~Prov 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
... ~Prov 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Observations
1. Words are to be spoken with wisdom
2. One purpose of words is faithful instruction
3. We can bring life and healing or death and violence.
Application:
Since I have had vocal cord issues the last 3 months and now I am on voice rest, I am seeing how many needless, idle words I speak. Many times, I think I talk to fill up silence so I don't feel restless. The two scriptures that come to my mind today as I read the above scriptures are: Proverbs 10:19 - When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. One that my three year old son has memorized and repeated since he was two is Proverbs 15:1 - a kind/gentle answer turns away wrath. My son many times has told me when he is a play group or at the park that he just turned away wrath. I struggle with living the truth in these two verses. First, I am a woman of many words. Many times these words do bring blessing and praise but sometimes they just cause noise and have no purpose. Other times these words are filled with ingratitude. Also, when someone is angry or sarcastic to me, it is difficult to say a kind word.
I am still not a woman of few words and many never be, but I do want to be a woman that brings life with every word I speak. James 3:9-11 says "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?" The Lord says we should not bless him and curse our brothers as men are made in God's likeness.
If you want to see what you speak, try to go a day or three weeks without speaking other than what is absolutely necessary. You may see the urge to speak things you didn't know comes out of your mouth. It helps to stop talking in order to see what we have to unlearn.
Prayer
Please forgive me for the idle words I speak that have no value, worthless and ineffectual. Fill me with words of praise for you to reflect you in all I do and say. Lord, fill me with worship in spirit and truth to pass on wisdom so that my words bring life. You are life Lord Jesus. I pray I would unlearn the words of this world and my own self protection mechanisms and learn your language of Love.
Application Questions:
1. What idle words do you speak? How do you use your words - for life or death?
2. What do you need to unlearn?
3. What is one step you can take to learn the language of praise?
Some Scriptures on our Words We can Memorize:
Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 34:12-13
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Psalm 37:30
The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.
Psalm 39:1
I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence."
Psalm 40:10
I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.
Psalm 55:21
His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords.
Psalm 64:2-3
Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from that noisy crowd of evildoers. They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.
Psalm 119:172
May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous.
Psalm 139:4
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
Proverbs 8:13
To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
Proverbs 10:18-20
He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.
Proverbs 10:20-21
The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.
Proverbs 10:31-32
The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.
Proverbs 11:12-13
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 12:6
The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them.
Proverbs 12:22
The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.
Proverbs 12:17-19
A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
Proverbs 12:25
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Proverbs 15:1-2
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Proverbs 15:4
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:28
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
Proverbs 16:13
Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.
Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:21
The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction
Proverbs 16:27-28
A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 17:4
A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue.
Proverbs 17:20
A man of perverse heart does not prosper; he whose tongue is deceitful falls into trouble.
Proverbs 17:28
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
Proverbs 18:13
He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame.
Proverbs 18:20-21
From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 21:23
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.
Proverbs 22:11
He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.
Proverbs 25:11-12
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear.
Proverbs 26:24-25
A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart.
Proverbs 28:23
He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.
Ecclesiastes 5:2-4
Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words. When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.
Isaiah 50:4
The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.
Matthew 5:22
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother
Matthew 15:8
These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.
1 Corinthians 2:13
This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.
2 Corinthians 8:7
But just as you excel in everything-in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us -see that you also excel in this grace of giving.
Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
Ephesians 4:25
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
Ephesians 4:26
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 5:19
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,
Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 3:8
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
Titus 2:7-8
In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
James 1:19-20
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
James 3:5
Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
James 3:6
The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
James 3:9-12
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
1 Peter 3:9-11
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth
"But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment"Matthew 12:36
