Overcompensation and Unlearning

OVERCOMPENSATION AND UNLEARNING

Being on voice rest which is suppose to be no talking unless is an emergency is making me reflect on what I really need to say. I must say I failed to follow Doctor's orders when I am around people. I still talk and I am not suppose to due to voice damage from a prior virus. When I had the virus, I believe I unconsciously started using muscles to overcompensate for loss of voice and hoarseness. Then the virus cleared up, but I was left with throat and neck pain due to the way my body overcompensated. The body has an amazing ability to overcompensate for a weak body part. The problem is it becomes an unintentional habit. These unintentional habits in our body's ability to compensate for a weaker part needs to be unlearned in order for the body to work as intended.

Likewise, there are habits we learned to overcompensate for fear, pain, loneliness, restlessness, inadequacy, rejection or any other issue we can think of. The Holy Spirit is at work in us making us more like Jesus Christ. Romans 12:1-2 says "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Our mind needs to be renewed and we need to unlearn things we learned in order to "function" during weakness, pain or trouble.  The Lord wants us to depend on Him and not our own understanding of things.

The reason I write of overcompensation and unlearning today is because I believe I have "learned" to talk in order to compensate for a restlessness, craving for deep fellowship/relationship with others, feeling inadequate without the need to teach, share or talk. The definition of idle: lacking worth or basis; Vain. The definition of vain: having no real value; marked by futility or ineffectualness. I have definitely spoken words without worth or basis and that were ineffectual and had no real value. 
Scriptures
~Prov 31:26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
~Prov 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
... ~Prov 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Observations
1. Words are to be spoken with wisdom
2. One purpose of words is faithful instruction
3. We can bring life and healing or death and violence.

Application:
Since I have had vocal cord issues the last 3 months and now I am on voice rest, I am seeing how many needless, idle words I speak. Many times, I think I talk to fill up silence so I don't feel restless. The two scriptures that come to my mind today as I read the above scriptures are: Proverbs 10:19 - When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.  One that my three year old son has memorized and repeated since he was two is Proverbs 15:1 - a kind/gentle answer turns away wrath.   My son many times has told me when he is a play group or at the park that he just turned away wrath.   I struggle with living the truth in these two verses. First, I am a woman of many words. Many times these words do bring blessing and praise but sometimes they just cause noise and have no purpose. Other times these words are filled with ingratitude. Also, when someone is angry or sarcastic to me, it is difficult to say a kind word.

I am still not a woman of few words and many never be, but I do want to be a woman that brings life with every word I speak.  James 3:9-11 says  ^"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?" The Lord says we should not bless him and curse our brothers as men are made in God's likeness.

If you want to see what you speak, try to go a day or three weeks without speaking other than what is absolutely necessary. You may see the urge to speak things you didn't know comes out of your mouth. It helps to stop talking in order to see what we have to unlearn.

Prayer
Please forgive me for the idle words I speak that have no value, worthless and ineffectual. Fill me with words of praise for you to reflect you in all I do and say. Lord, fill me with worship in spirit and truth to pass on wisdom so that my words bring life. You are life Lord Jesus. I pray I would unlearn the words of this world and my own self protection mechanisms and learn your language of Love.

Application Questions:
1. What idle words do you speak? How do you use your words - for life or death?
2. What do you need to unlearn?
3. What is one step you can take to learn the language of praise?

Some Scriptures on our Words We can Memorize:
Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 34:12-13
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Psalm 37:30
The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.
Psalm 39:1
I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence."
Psalm 40:10
I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.
Psalm 55:21
His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords.
Psalm 64:2-3
Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from that noisy crowd of evildoers. They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.
Psalm 119:172
May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous.
Psalm 139:4
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
Proverbs 8:13
To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
Proverbs 10:18-20
He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.
Proverbs 10:20-21
The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.
Proverbs 10:31-32
The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.
Proverbs 11:12-13
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 12:6
The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them.
Proverbs 12:22
The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.
Proverbs 12:17-19
A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
Proverbs 12:25
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Proverbs 15:1-2
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Proverbs 15:4
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:28
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
Proverbs 16:13
Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.
Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:21
The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction
Proverbs 16:27-28
A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 17:4
A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue.
Proverbs 17:20
A man of perverse heart does not prosper; he whose tongue is deceitful falls into trouble.
Proverbs 17:28
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
Proverbs 18:13
He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame.
Proverbs 18:20-21
From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 21:23
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.
Proverbs 22:11
He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.
Proverbs 25:11-12
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear.
Proverbs 26:24-25
A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart.
Proverbs 28:23
He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.
Ecclesiastes 5:2-4
Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words. When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.
Isaiah 50:4
The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.
Matthew 5:22
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother
Matthew 15:8
These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.
1 Corinthians 2:13
This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.
2 Corinthians 8:7
But just as you excel in everything-in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us -see that you also excel in this grace of giving.
Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
Ephesians 4:25
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
Ephesians 4:26
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 5:19
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,
Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 3:8
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
Titus 2:7-8
In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
James 1:19-20
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
James 3:5
Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
James 3:6
The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
James 3:9-12
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
1 Peter 3:9-11
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth

"But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment"Matthew 12:36

Feeding on His Faithfulness

While the Israelites travelled in the wilderness, God provided manna. It was the bread of heaven and it came like the dew in the night. You can read the account of manna in Exodus 16. The Hebrew word meaning of manna is most likely "gift" or "what is it?" This food was a mystery they ate. The Israelites described it as wafers made with honey. The people were instructed that they could only eat what they gathered for each day. They were not to gather more than they could eat. The only exception was preparation day (day before the Sabbath). Then they could collect and eat for that day and the next which was the Sabbath.  If the people collected more than they could eat on a given day, it would just rot, stick and have maggots on it. However, this would not happen on the Sabbath.

After the people entered the promised land, there was no more manna provided.  (See Joshua 5:12). God provided as long as they needed manna. They needed a miraculous supply of food in the wilderness or they would have starved.  Canaan, the promised land was a land flowing with milk and honey. The people ate of the produce and abundance of the Land.

I now see that we eat of God's bread from heaven through His Word. We have the promise of the Lord Jesus who was the bread of life. Sometimes now, we don't see nor understand everything in the Word but we are to eat and give thanks. We are still waiting for some of the promises in hope. For example, the day when all suffering and pain ends.  God tells us that we do not live on bread alone but every word that comes from the mouth of God. (see Matthew 4:4).

Like manna, the Word of God is comparable to honey but it is actually sweeter than honey. Honey is associated with God's wisdom.  Here are some descriptions about the Word and honey:

Proverbs 16:24 pleasant words are good physically and spiritually—like honey!

• Proverbs 24:13 associates honey with wisdom
• Psalms 19:10-11 God’s Word is sweet like honey; honey is healthy just as God Word is
• Psalms 119:103 God’s Word is sweeter than honey which is really sweet

God's word is true and pure. He is faithful and His promises come to pass. 


Scriptures for Proverbs 31 Study:
Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Psalm 37:3 - Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

Philippians 4:19 - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

 

Observations:
1. We are to trust in the Lord
2. We are to feed on His faithfulness
3. We are not to lean on our understanding in what we read in the Word or what we do
4. God provides our NEED according to His glorious riches

Application Questions:
1. How am I feeding on the Word?
2. How do I eat the Word given for the day?
3. Do I try to gather more than I can ingest or give to others to eat?
4. What are some Bible words/promises I don't have or don't understand but I am to lean on God for?

Application:
When I think of trusting in the Lord, I have to remember to trust with a steadfastness. I can't give up hope just because I don't see something come to pass in a week, month, year or years. God is faithful. God will provide for my need just like He provided the manna in the dessert despite the Israelites complaining, ungrateful attitude.  I am to not use my understanding of how the Word applies but let the Holy Spirit illuminate my path.

I feed on the Word daily. Sometimes I try to consume too much and sometimes I consume very little. I need the food allotted to me for that day like the manna.  We are to taste and see that the Lord is good and in His Word I see His goodness. For me, eating involves more than just shoveling the food in my mouth. I need to take my time and savor the richness of it. I need to chew my food slowly and carefully. Digestion needs to take place. Likewise, with the Word we need to savor God's word. We need to chew on it and think upon that which is good, noble, pure, just, right, lovely, and pure. We need to now just run away after eating the word just like we were not to run a five mile sprint after eating.

The area of God's Word that I need to trust rather than debate with is about not depriving our spouse of physical intimacy. This is an area that I am to trust you even if it doesn't always make sense.

Prayer:   Thank you that you are the bread of life. Thank you that you feed us with your Word and yourself. Thank you that you are faithful. There are many times, I read your Word and just run to go do all my chores instead of allowing digestion to take place. I am learning to chew slower and eat less at a time. Thank you for you and Your Word that speaks to me.  Lord, I am sorry for the times I lean on my own understanding rather than trust you.

Free Indeed!

Have you ever felt condemned? Have you ever felt sad or a longing for more?  Today, on the Fourth of July , we celebrate the birth of the United States and the freedom that comes with it. The freedom God gives, however is far greater than the freedom we celebrate today. God says those he sets free are free indeed.

One thing I constantly have to be set free from is condemnation. Satan, myself and others heap it on so thick that sometimes I feel buried and trapped. Satan whispers that God is not good or that He is withholding. I should expect and want more. My own desires compete at times with God's will. I get unhappy with the mundane. Other times there is a sadness over loss and pain and other people just want to tell me of some sin. God, however is faithful to provide for those in need.
When I wait upon the Lord, He has always given me strength. We are to be  honorable in all we do and say. Sometimes we grow weary but God encourages us to not grow weary in well doing for we will reap a harvest if we don't lose heart. Sometimes we want to faint but God says he will uphold us with his righteous right hand.Isaiah 40: 31 says "Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."

I believe sometimes there is a longing for more not because we are ungrateful or discontent but because God has put eternity in our hearts. This is not our home. We are strangers and pilgrims here on this earth. We are in it but not of it.  This last week, I have struggled with thinking I have the sin of ingratitude. I do admit that I do struggle with whining, complaining and ingratitude at times but my God has taken me from whiner to worshipper. I am a praiser of the Lord Jesus. I sing, think upon Him and praise Him throughout the day. However, I have been down and the more down I get on myself the more I am not fulfilling what God has asked me to do. Satan, others or ourself can drain us. I am learning when I have a longing for more that I can praise God that I am not content here with all I have. I long for eternity and then get back to the work he has for me here because our days are short.

We as women lose our connection with others when we feel that we should not mention the hard things. We all face heartache, pain, loss, unfulfilled dreams and expectations. It is not sin to feel grief. We can spur each other on to eternity by saying You are free in Christ.

All three verses below involve a future time as well: She shall rejoice (it does not say she is rejoicing); The Lord will keep your foot from being caught (will - future act) and  I shall not want. There are future freedoms we will behold. We don't see all God is doing now. We only see partially now how God is clothing us with His strength, honor, confidence and protection.

Scriptures:
Proverbs 31:25 - Strength and Honor are in her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.

Proverbs 3:26 - For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.

Psalm 23:1 - The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

Observations:
1. If the Proverbs 31 woman is to rejoice in time to come, she may not be rejoicing now or there is a time in the future will rejoicing will be greater or even realized.

2. There are times when we thing we will stumble or we are trapped. We have no confidence in ourselves and feel hopeless. This is good news because the Lord will be our confidence.

3. God provides our needs. He guides us, protects and will lead us to what we need.

Application:  I think at times I need to just tell others that God clothes his people with Himself. He is our strength, our honor/dignity, our confidence, our Shepherd. We have all we need in Him and one day our longings that we crave will be realized completely in Him. Right now we have the seal of His Holy Spirit as a promise of the things to come. We have hope which is unseen but we wait with a confident expectation.  When I feel I have failed because I don't see everything I read, God reminds me there is no condemnation to those in Christ who walk according to His ways. I can rejoice because the prison walls of false condemnation have been broken down like the walls of Jericho.

Prayer: Jesus thank you that you have set me free. Thank you that I am free to dance. I am free to rejoice. I am free to be sad at times and just cry in your arms. I thank you that you sing and rejoice over me. I pray that I would be counted faithful in following hard after you. When I am weak, you are strong. May I continue to walk in your strength and may you receive all honor and praise. Lord, thank you that you promises that if we wait upon you, you will renew our strength.

The Hidden Talents

God talks to me in Scriptures. As I read today's verses for the Proverbs 31 study, I remembered The Parable of the Hidden Talents from Matthew 25:14-30. My job as full time lawyer ended four years ago this May when I was three months pregnant. I took this as a "sign" that God wanted me to stay home to prepare my heart and home for the arrival of our child. I planned on going back to work full time but things did not work out that way. I started hearing a call to be a homemaker, a wife, a mother and to put all my talents and concentration in what God was asking me to do. My husband had mentioned this years before after a men's meeting but I didn't want to hear that then. Now it is the best thing that has ever happened in my life.  We gave up a lot of "serving" in our church when we became parents so that we were not away from home every night. We did continue to be small group leaders in our home but our son was only away from us about 1 1/2 hour while he was next door with my Mom. Then we gave up small group because I was getting tired. This basically cut us off from "fellowship". I thought we would only take off 6 months but that 6 months turned into 2 years.

I have stopped meeting with so many friends. I have stopped formal counseling and mentoring of others. The belief is that I would serve as needed wherever our family was. There is some informal serving going on with my son when we are out in the community. There is serving in our neighborhood with treats, pictures and a kind word but we have no routine, ongoing serving as a family.

My son does help two other teenagers pick up bullentins after church. His face glows knowing he is being diligent and helping. I love seeing him serve our church family. I was trying to concentrate on "my family" and "our son" but somehow, I know I started hiding talents because it was easier. Also, I don't want to be greedy or teach my son to just spend what God gives us on ourselves (this includes talents). I am still praying for wisdom to know how much time to spend apart from my son. I believe we are to do most things together as a family when we can.  For some reason, I start to feel anxious when I think God is asking me to step out to serve others in a more formal, ongoing role because I feel I will not be fulfilling the most important purpose as a wife and mother. I am still seeing if I am serving there well. I think it is time to step out and trust God will multiply.

I do now, however, the last two years + of not serving as heavily outside the home was God's plan. My main ministry after being a child of God, wife is my discipling of my son. During this time, my son has accepted the Lord. My main ministry and work calling is motherhood. It has been worth everything in this life. Nothing compares to being a Mommy.  I am so grateful I get to spend every moment with him sharing everything.  My talents are not wasted or hidden on being home.

Scriptures:
~Prov 31:24 - She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
~Prov 10:4 - Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.
5:14

Observations:
1. God wants us to be diligent
2. We are to use what God has given to others. When we fail to do so, we also  become poor ourselves.

Application:  My hidden talents may be (1) hospitality; (2) teaching/mentoring other women; (3) using God's word to teach, admonish, encourage, build up, train in righteousness.  I have started writing again since this Proverbs study.  I have a love for the written word and sharing God's truth. I still see my home life as a mess and keep telling God when that is in order for a few months then I will step out. When I am meeting my husband's need then I will step out. However, I have started to see that by hiding talents, I am not as encouraged to meet my hsuband's needs. I have become lazy by hiding talents. I think sometimes in black and white. I sometimes serve others too much. Other times I neglect serving others outside the home as I am too concentrated in my home on my son and husband. Whatever not of faith is sin though. For me, I know some of the not serving outside is that I am fearful I will neglect my family as I have heard that the main person I am discipling is my son.  The area I am to step out in is (1) having others over to our house more like I use too - celebrations and times of fellowship; (2) small group in our home or at church for all ages so that we don't have to be separated as a family. This would be new and is a bit scary. However, I don't want to be lazy in the talents God has given. I want to show my son how to share what God has given for God's glory. 

At His Side while He Wears the Crown

I love how God made us women from Adam's rib. He took us from the side of Adam. The views in this world may try to change God's truth but God's truth abideth still. There are some who may think we women can rule and we are more capable, stronger and do what we say we are going to do. We don't need a "man" to rule" us. There are some who may think women should be trampled over by the men as the men do whatever they want to women. We should just keep quiet in silence and of course be gentle. God's words are thrown around in ways He never intended or told others to use. However, our God is faithful and He does not change like the shifting shadows of our culture and other people. God is not like us. His thoughts and ways are much higher and are not our ways.

God took us from the man's side not from his head or his foot. I can't take credit for that line. Although that may not be the direct quote, I have read that. If we are taken from the side of Adam, what does that mean?

 His ribs protect his most precious organs, the heart and lungs. The ribs essential provide support for the whole chest cavity.  Our heart pumps all the blood throughout our body. Our lungs help us breathe and provide oxygen to all of our cells. Without oxygen and blood, we would die. This is a simple description of what our hearts and lungs do but you probably realize they are essential.  God didn't just make us women from anything. He chose a rib, the precious part of the body that protects the two most vital organs.

Today's Proverb Study Scriptures:
~Prov 31:23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
~Prov 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Observations:
1. Our husbands are to be people of influence at the city gate or wherever they are sent to by God. I pray regularly for my husband and son to find high esteem with God and men.
2. We, women are to be crowns. I like the imagery of nobility of a crown with the use of "noble character". If we are not a crown, we are a disgrace and like decay to our husband's bones (almost like arthritis - pain in the bones that causes us to be weakened).

Application:  The application for me is that in order for my husband to be a man of influence, I need to submit to God and do my part. I use to make more money than my husband. I led our family in many areas. My husband was grateful for this. He supported me. Then things changed. We realized God's plan was different than our own. Sometimes the old way seemed to work better for us as we were use to it. Dying to our self is always harder. I stopped working (for the most part other than an occasional contract) when I was three months pregnant. I started sensing a peace in Motherhood and being a wife that I never had before.  Lately after suffering some major losses and setbacks, I have started getting angry at the losses. I have started feeling more pain and thus have started talking more about my losses.  I don't want to ignore that I am in pain but I don't want to focus on the pain so much that I become a pain and decay in my husband's bones. Decay seems to be slow. It doesn't happen just once or in one moment usually. Decay involves a process. We may not see the result of decay in one day but over time, you will see it. I am starting to see things that we receive at our wedding start to decay. A decade of time (going on 11 years now) can do that. Likewise, I am starting to see behavior that I had ten years ago bring an some ugly returns. I am starting to pray more and be quiet so that I don't bring decay into my husband's life.  I want to stay by his side.  More so than decay, I have seen beauty. God has taken decay and restored so much. He is the God of restoration and beauty. To Him be the praise.

Prayer: Lord, where there is decay bring restoration. God you are the God who restores. You are my only Help. Lord, I want to be a crown and not just stay by his side while silently gritting my teeth. I want to stay by his side with encouragement and a quiet assurance. Lord, restore me to the woman that you want me to be.  You are the potter and I am the clay. You made us women from the ribs of our husband. I pray that I would be a helper to my husband and bring you Glory.

Dressed in my God Given Name

My God given name is Melinda which means "gentle". I use to be more gentle and still am at times. However, I have become demanding and harsh when I want to make a point. I see God, however, restoring me to be dressed as he made me to be dressed with gentleness.  This is a continuation of the One Thread at a Time. There are times where I am not gentle but God is a gentleman and has whispered his gentleness to be over and over in the last few months as I have struggled with loss and health issues one right after the other since January.

Right now, I am to be on total voice rest due to vocal cord dysfunction. I love to talk. Actually I would have defined my gifts and abilities with the spoken word. My career prior to being a stay at home mom/homemaker was a lawyer. I was not a layer that sat at a desk but instead was a litigator/trial attorney. I remember when I was in high school, I was so shy that when we had to speak in front of the class, I would break out in hives. I remember thinking I can't do public speaking. I gave God excuses like Moses when he was sent to Egypt to free the Israelites. God however has always given me the Words to speak. Also, I believed my spiritual gift had to do with speaking forth God's word in teaching, mentoring, prophetically or in a word of knowledge. I also have bene homeschooking my preschool aged son. I love to read outload to him. Everything I did seemed to involve speech. Now, I am left to try to communicate without words. I have been stressed in trying not to speak. Yesterday, I was contimplating whether I was just as precious to God even if I never received my voice back. I know in my head I am precious without my voice to God but this lack of voice is shaking me and making me contemplate more about being dressed in Christ. God has been sufficient and has dressed me daily with Himself and His strength.


Scripture for Today:
1 Peter 3:4  "You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." 

Observations:
1. we are to clothe self with beauty that comes fromw ithin
2. gentle and quiet spirit never fade
3. inner clothing of gentle and quiet spirit is so PRECIOUS to God

Application:


 Once I am clothed with Christ robe of righteousness and not my own, then Jesus describes the clothing we are to wear.  There are many scriptures on how we are to be clothed which I mentioned some in the previous post.  When I think of clothing I am to wear as way of application I think of 1 Peter 3:4  "You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."  Originally this post was part of my post Dressed One Thread at a Time. However, when I woke up this morning and saw that the Scripture for today's Proverb 31 study was 1 Peter 3:4, I divided the two posts which were getting rather long anyway. I like how God's spirit brings a verse to our hearts. His word comes alive for me and many times the whole of the Bible starts coming to me when a topic is mentioned.

My given name Melinda actually means "sweet and gentle one". God says we as women should be clothed with a beauty that comes from within which is a gentle and quiet spirit.  My name Melinda can also be broken down to Mela as honey and Linda as Gentle. It can also mean dark haired one. I am dark haired still for the most part except for a few grays but somehow I have moved away from the true name God has given me which is to be sweet, gentle one. We probably all know the saying "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." Actually, I heard that this saying over the weekend while I was camping.

    What does it mean to be gentle? I read in The Practice of Godliness by Jerry Bridges that gentle in some translations is restful. Are people at rest or at ease around you? Gentleness is how I deal with others. We are to be people sensitive to tohers opinions and ideas. Others should not be afraid to express their ideas or opinions in our presence. I also read in The Practive of Godliness that gentleness is also a respect for a person's dignity/worth for who they are not what they do. I am to avoid blunt speech or abrupt manner.

   In addition to be clothed with gentleness, I am to be clothed with quietness. I am now on total voice rest for three weeks.  I have to pick my words carefully and only speak when absolutely necessary.  I am learning that I don't need to speek everything that comes to my mind even if they are good, building up words. Too many words can overwhelm. Proverbs 20:5 says "The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out."  We are to quietly draw counsel out of others. We are not to be harsh, demanding, drill them with question after question or tell them everything that we are growing in so that they end up feeling guilty or crushed.

Prayer:  .Lord let me have the self control to be gentle and quiet during this time of silence. Let my spirit talk to you without using audible words.  Lord help me to have self control and modesty in words so that i don't need to expose everything I am thinking or learning. Lord thank you that gentleness is a fruit of your spirit. I trust that you are restoring me to my true name - gentle one. Thank you Jesus for your hope in this required time of silence as I have voice rest.  Let me be a person of understanding that draws  people out rather than tell them what they should do. Thank you for my name Lord and your promise that you will dress me in gentleness.


What I am learning about being gentle and quiet:
1. I am learning to allow others to speak their mind, thoughts and ideas without having to have a comment
2. I am learning to listen and watch more
3. I am learning not to demand or expect but to ask politely and with thanksgiving whether or not I receive what I want
4. Letting my husband speak his heart, mind and thoughts more
5. Seeing that my family is so sad and speaking less when I am not speaking shows me that I do most of the talking
6. that being gentle is having people at rest within my presence. They can just come sit in my house without feeling they have to be or do something special. They don't feel that I am silently judging them.
7. I don't have to say everything I am thinking or learning.
8. I am learning to finally write more than speak everything.

Read 6/12/2012 post on what I am learning in the silence and quiet without my voice.

Verses for further study:
Colossians 3:12 - Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

***Out of 5 things we are to wear, one is gentleness***

Philippians 4:5 - Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

James 3:17 - But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

***Gentleness is evidence of heavenly wisdom***

Matthew 11:28-29 - “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

***Jesus described himeself with two words in this quote - gentle and humble***

Gentle:
1 Kings 19:12 ~ Elijah hears a gentle whisper and it is God's voice speaking to Him.
Proverbs 15:1 ~ A gentle answer turns away wrath.
Zechariah 9:9 ~ Prophecy of Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey. Describes Him as gentle.
Matthew 11:29 ~ Jesus describes Himself as gentle and humble in heart.
Acts 27:13 ~ a gentle wind made for easier sailing
1 Corinthians 4:21 ~ Paul reminds the Corinthians that God's kingdom is not just talk and words. It is the power of God! He puts it to them in a question, "Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?"
Ephesians 4:2 ~ "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
1 Thessalonians 2:7 ~ describes gentleness as the way a mother cares for her little children
1 Timothy 3:3 ~ opposite of violent; requirement for one in authority at church
2 Corinthians 10:1 ~Paul appeals to the Corinthians in the "meekness and gentleness of Christ"
Galatians 5:22-23 ~ part of the Fruit of the Spirit: gentleness
1 Timothy 6:11 ~ gentleness is a quality we are to pursue
1 Peter 3:15 ~ We are called to be ready to tell others why we have the hope we have, but challenged to do it with "gentleness and respect."

Quiet:
Isaiah 30:15 ~ there is a strength in quietness
Isaiah 32:17 ~ "The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever."
1 Timothy 2:11 ~ specifically a characteristic God's women are to pursue: quietness
Genesis 25:27 ~ Jacob was described as a quiet man
1 Chronicles 4:40 ~ Family of Simeon was looking for new land and found a place described as, "rich, good pasture, and the land was spacious, peaceful and quiet."
1 Chronicles 22:9 ~ Israel would be granted a season of peace and quiet during Solomon's reign
Job 6:24 ~ a spirit of humility, a teachable spirit. One who is willing to be quiet and admit wrong when necessary.
Psalm 23:2 ~ The Lord, our Shepherd leads us by quiet waters
Psalm 83:1 ~ a prayer requesting God not to keep silent and quiet
Proverbs 17:1 ~ A peaceful, quiet - yet, modest home is to be desired over many possessions with quarreling and strife.
Ecclesiastes 9:17 ~ listen to quiet wisdom over loud foolishness
Amos 5:13 ~ knowing when to keep quiet shows prudence
Zephaniah 3:17 ~ God will quiet our hearts with His love
Mark 1:25 ~ Jesus commanded quiet from the evil spirits
Mark 4:39 ~ Jesus commanded quiet from the weather
Mark 6:31 ~ Jesus encourages His disciples to come with Him to a quiet place to rest
Luke 19:40 ~ If all of God's people are required to keep quiet, even Creation will cry out
1 Thessalonians 4:11 ~ "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life..."
1 Timothy 2:1-2 ~ "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kinds and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness."

Dressed One Thread At a time

Have you ever hear the story about our life like a tapestry. Many times we are just viewing the backside of a tapestry. . It appears to be nothing more than many threads that are tangled, frayed, occasionally knotted, and seemingly random. Nothing really makes sense. It’s no wonder people lose heart, give up, and abandon their commitments.  But our eyes are not seeing as God sees. It’s only when you turn a tapestry over that you see the art: the rich colors, the texture, and the patterns that can make a tapestry a thing of astonishing beauty.  We are now on the 21st verse of Proverbs 31 about making herself coverings of tapestry (many versions say bed coverings). Tapestries are often works of art and they provided the practical comfort of insulation for your wall or a divider for privacy around your bed.

These tapestries were to cover her family while they slept but these tapestries also surrounded the entire bed area for privacy. Jesus as the Living Word and then the Bible the Written Word serve these functions for me. FIrst, I need to be dressed in Jesus Christ and His living sacrifice he made for me so that I can be dressed. Second, I need the written word as the Holy Spirit illuminates meaning and transformation in my life. His Word envelops me so that I can have private communion with God anywhere.  Many times like the tapestry, we think we have failed. We think that we are not becoming more like Christ. We may feel like giving up. However, we don't always see the beautiful tapestry God is seeing front the front fo the tapestry. We are just seeing threads but God is weaving into our life one thread at a time the fruit of His Spirit to make us the beautiful bride of Christ.  Again, it represents that we belong to the King. We need to be dressed appopriately to join the feast.

Read Matthew 22:1-14 about a wedding feast prepared by the King. Everyone had an excuse why they couldn't make it. Then the King sent out a servant to gather people off the street.  The day arrived and one of the guests was not wearing "wedding attire" and was thrown out. " Here's the background:  In Jesus' day, guests coming to a royal banquet were expected to wear festal garments.  For the wealthy, that meant embroidered robes and gowns adorned with precious jewels.  For the poor, it meant the best clothes you had, freshly washed.  If you could afford it, you'd wear white, and, if you couldn't, you'd wear as close to white as possible.  Commentator Richard Bauckman says, "Wearing festal garments indicated one's (full) participation in the joy of the feast."  (Journal of Biblical Literature, Fall, 1996, pp. 485-486)"

The Proverbs 31 women is not just making herself coverings of tapestry bur her clothing is silk and purple.  The soldiers dressed Jesus in a purple robe right before his death on the cross. I have read that the Proverbs 31 woman represents the church dressed in righteousness. We can't dress any old way we want to attend the wedding feast of the Bride (the church) and Bridegroom (Jesus).

If you go through the Bible, you will see many accounts of clothing and how we are to be dressed. In the Old Testament, Adam and Eve tried to clothe themselves with fig leaves after they sinned. Then God had to kill an animal to clothe them properly. In Ephesians, we are to be dressed in the armor of God (belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, helmet of salvation, sandals of peace, shield of faith, sword of the spirit).

For the last few days, I keep hearing the Solid Rock hymn in my head. These words have been imprinted on my heart "When He shall come with trumpet sound, O may I then in Him be found, Dressed in His Righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne" (The Solid Rock).

We as women should be concerned with our inner beauty. This post is more about being clothed with Christ and our inner beauty rather than outer beauty or physical clothes we wear. I know he is asking me to be clothed with the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. I will write more about this on the next post.

It is important to ask how you are dressed inwardly.

Scriptures:
Proverbs 31:21 - She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 -  likewise also that women should adorn (clothe) themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,  but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

Observations:
1. The bed coverings in many translations seems to be coverings of tapestry which is a pice of thick, textile fabrics with pictures or designs formed by weaving colored threads. I think it is interesting to use the word tapestry as if we look on the back we would only see threads but we turn it over and would most likely see a beautiful design. This reminds me of the story that our life is like a tapestry that God is weaving. We can't see everything he is doing and many times if we just look at parts of our life, it doesn't look so beautiful because we don't see what He is weaving in our lives.
2. Women are to be clothed with modesty and self control in their good works (God prepared in advanced for us and based on His righteousness). 


Application:
Before we get into be clothed with modesty and self control or with a gentle and quiet spirit, we need to address whether we are naked, dressed in our own filthy rags or in Jesus' robes of righteousness.Our outer clothes are not as important as we are dressed inwardly. If we are dressed inwardly with Christ, we will dress outwardly with modesty to reflect beauty. 

Are you Naked?
Do you remember the story The Emperor's New Clothes by Hans Christian Anderson?  In this story, two rascals, pretending to be weavers (tailors), tricked the king. They convinced him that they could weave new clothes out of the most exquisite stuff imaginable. These clothes had the unusual property of becoming invisible to every person who was unfit for their office, or those who were exceptionally "stupid" (Andersen’s word).   No one wanted to lose their job or appear stupid so they all joined in on the lie. They all said how wonderful the clothes were.  Then a child yelled out innocently "but he doesn't have any clothes on."  The truth alarmed the King but he had too much invested in the pretense to admit the truth.

It is a tragedy when we go on in a pretense thinking we are covered when we are not.  This category includes people who think they are wearing Christ but they are not trusting Him and living by His Spirit and power.  We are living a lie, a pretense, a hypocritical life.

Dressed In our Own Filthy Rags

There are others that are not really pretending to be clothed but they are working very hard to earn their robes of righteousness. They have not trusted Jesus and received His clothes of Righteousness.   After Adam and Eve sinned, they covered themselves with fig leaves. These fig leaves were not adequate. God had to kill the first animal as a blood sacrifice to cover Adam and Eve. Eventually, Jesus' sacrifice and his life and blood covers us completely once and for all when we believe and trust in Him. We are to put off old life and put on Jesus.


Clothed with Christ's Righteousness

I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, (Isa. 61:10 - NIV). With this category, we are to ask whether we trust in His salvation and His robe of righteousness not my own acts of righteousness.

Are you dressed for the wedding feast?
Daily, I need to put on the armor and dress as Jesus tells me to dress. This comment from the commentary on the parable of the wedding feast is where I am thinking application is necessary in my life. The comment was "Wearing festal garments indicated one's (full) participation in the joy of the feast."  I can't half heartedly participate in the joy. I can't be of the world and of God. I can't do what I want and follow God. I can't love Mammon and God. I either will hate the one or love the other. I can't want and have everything the world offers and say I love God wholeheartedly. My application is to live and love God wholeheartedly and to give thanks that He took off my filthy rags and put on His robe of righteousness on me. Again as I write another scripture comes ot my mind about the parable of the lost son. You can read this in Luke 15:11-22. When the rebel son comes home, His Father is so overjoyed he runs to his son and falls on him kissingh im. The Father is not angry or saying "I told you so" when his son comes home. The Father throws a feast. The father puts his robe on his son.

Prayer: Jesus, thank you that by faith through grace you place yourr robe of righteosness on me. Thank you that I don't need to work to earn your love initially or after being saved. Lord, thank you that you promised that the good work you started in my life that you will finish. Thank you Lord Jesus that you are creating a beautiful masterpiece.