Trusting in our own Abilities and Other Peoples' Abilities or Trusting in God

Scriptures:
Proverbs 28:25 - An arrogant (a proud) man stirs up strife, But he who trusts in the LORD will prosper

Proverbs 16:20 - He who gives attention to the word (heeds the word) will find good, And blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.

Proverbs 29:25 - The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.

Observation(s):
1.  We are not to be guided by our own self, own reasoning, and own mind
2. We are not to be guided what others thinks of us (fear of man)
3. We are to heed God's word and trust Him
4. If we trust God, we are blessed, will prosper and will be safe.

Application(s):

In today's reading, I saw something as an answer with what I have been struggling with. My struggle is the tension between being diligent v. lazy, asking questions v. going with everyone else, listening to what I hear v. what others say. I have always believed everything depends on me. If someone needs help, I need to help them. If there is work to be done, I need to do it. If something happens, I feel an over sense of responsibility at times.  

In looking over comments from others during the Proverbs 31 study, I noticed some women might want to just give up as the Proverbs 31 is not attainable. Others think that we improve but will never be perfected until we see Jesus so this applies to the Proverbs 31 woman. I believe God would not have said it is possible if it is not possible. Also will God all things are possible. Our part is to trust Him and heed His Word (do what it says).  The flesh would like us to believe that it is hopeless. Jesus was 100% man and 100% God. As a man, he lived dependent upon the Lord and gave us hope that in the Lord all things are possible that God says we are to be in His Word.

 As I read the three scriptures for today's reading, I saw that if I am arrogant and proud and think that I am the one that has to do it all.The other is that we just rely on others say because we have a fear of what man thinks. Therefore, we just go with the crowd. The balance between just relying on self or just relying on others is heeding God's word and trusting God. My part is to heed God's word.

Proverbs 28:26 - he who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered. Proverbs 16:21 - The wise in heart will be called prudent and sweetness of the lips increases learning.
Proverbs 29:26 - many seek the ruler's favor but justice for man comes from the Lord.

Again, we these verses that come right after the verses for today's reading have the same format. First, we should not trust in our own heart. Second, we are not to just seek the ruler's favor (or others) as this is the "fear of man" of what they think of us. We are to trust God, be wise in heart and prudent (His wisdom begins with a fear of God.

Prayer: 
Lord, thank you that you have given us all things we need for this life and godliness. We thank you that you tell us not to trust in our own heart or to trust in what others' think but to trust in you. We have your word and you living within us.

Is My Home a Home of Order, Chaos or In Between?

Scripture: Proverbs 31:11 “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

Amplified Version says: The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.

Observation(s):
1. husband trusts wife confidently/has full confidence
2. husband relies on wife
3. husband believes in wife securely
4. husbands' needs are met

Definition(s):
confidence - the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone; firm trust. The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

trust - firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. An assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

Application: The area  that I  thought I needed to rely on God is with my emotions. As stared in the Proverbs 31 E-Book, the question under emotions was "Can your husband trust you to be self-controlled when under pressure"? There are times under extreme pressure that I lose it. I say things I shouldn't say and I always talk to much. Where there is abundance of words, sin usually follows. I believed I need self control which is a fruit of the spirit for my emotions and tongue.

     When I asked my husband, however, he felt the area that needed work was the home - "Can your husband safely trust you to run an orderly home?" This is touchy for me because I really try hard to maintain order. I definitely have a clean house most of the time but I do struggle to maintain physical order. My husband hoards and I have too many books and papers. I have simplified and given away many household items but we still have too much and not enough space saving devices or shelves for organizing. I start too many things at once. My brain goes off in a hundred directions and it is not always natural for me to finish one thing and put it all away. I let it add up at times and then do it all at once at the end of the day. When I cook, I don't wash each item first. I concentrate on cooking. Sometimes I use too many spoons.  When I have tried to do things as my husband instructed like wash dishes while you cook and when you use something put it away immediately.

   I would like to blame my husband and just say, he needs to get rid of things, help find "homes" for our belongings and build some shelves, but I know I need to take responsibility where I can. The house is the area that I do grumble about the most and it is the area that I feel I spend the most time. I feel no matter how hard I try, I can't keep it as nice as I would like and so when I hear any comment from my husband, it sets me off. I am not confident in this and my emotions are shaken when I feel I am not doing a good enough job.

   I created a household notebook with important numbers, cleaning schedules and other documents. I try to keep to a cleaning schedule but do notice instead of doing the 1-2 things on list, I try to tackle the whole house everyday.

One day, I came across an article that says it is disrespectful to not have a place for everything and everything in its place. It is disrespectful because people spend time trying to find an item that the whole family uses. I am guilty of this. I get in a rush and fail to put mail in our desk slot. Homeschooling papers and art projects for preschool are not put in the binder. Occasionally, a library book does not stay on the shelf or in the bag that I designated for library returns.
Can my husband concentrate on his work? Am I meeting His needs? Does he feel loved and secure?

Ultimately, we humans need order physically and spiritually. Our God is a God of Order. He took the chaos and he made order. The first thing God did was make light. I need His light and hope that I can have order in the home so that peace reigns rather than chaos. There have been many improvements in this area over the last few months and I have been hopeful. However, I know I still need to maintain order and not just do it once or twice or many times.  It has always fascinated me that when God created the world, day one corresponds to day 5, day 2 corresponds to day 6 and day 3 corresponds to day 7.

Day 1 - Light                                      Day 5 - Sun, Moon, Stars
Day 2 - sky/water - divided               Day 6 - fish and birds
firmament                           
Day 3 - Land                                     Day 7 - living creatures to
                                                            live on earth- beast, cattle, man

God put the structure in place such as light, sky/water, land and then he put what belonged in those structures.

The area that my husband needs to trust me is that he can find bills, letters, household items when he needs them. This sense of order will relieve his mind of some worries. I also need this order. My son needs this order so that our time together throughout the day will be free of worrying about "any mess".

Our home is probably somewhere in the middle. There is a lot of order but there is also chaos.  I really don't want to stay in the middle/in between. I truly want God's order. 

My emotions and lack of self control at times and the lack of order in the home at times are actually very closely linked. My mind is sometimes too cluttered and my house at times is too cluttered. I thrive on complexity at times rather than simplicity. I don't have a sound mind at times because I read too many books at once, I do too many devotionals at once, I have so many journals started at once, I have too many art projects. Basically, I do too much. With the house, I start too many things as well. I would like to say "well this is just me." I would like to say "this is how i learn." Basically, the brain and the home may only be able to take in so much at a time. I thought it was limitless. However, I think too much. I ask a lot of questions. One time, I heard God say "Melinda, you are my curious child." He called me curious not "over thinker, rebellious, unruly." God is well pleased with me. On the other hand, I know i think on things that are too weighty for me. I try to take on the "weight" of many things. I have been called to a season of rest and a season of celebration and joy.


Prayer:  Thank you God that you speak through your Word and your Son, Jesus. Thank you that with you all things are possible. I know many times, I feel hopeless over the state of the house. I don't want to go around all day saying this house is messy. Sometimes, I just want to escape and stay away from the house as I tire easily of doing the same things. I still don't have a great structure for where everything belongs. Please forgive me for my hopelessness. Step by step, I pray I will take the time to put things back when I am using something so that I don't have things accumulate. May I take the few extra minutes to finish up one thing before going to the next. Lord, thank you that you have not given us a spirit of fear but of love, power and a SOUND MIND. I claim this sound mind and will walk as you direct my steps.  Lord, may I do everything to your glory. May i rest in you, celebrate and take joy in each step of creating order in the house. Let me see afresh your order.

Am I a "GOOD" Helpmeet to my Husband?

My husband has told me many times that he chose me to be his wife because I was "good" for him. For the first seven years of the ten years of our marriage, I was upset that he chose me because I was "good" rather than possibly being madly in love with me.  Today's reading from God's Word actually says he who finds a wife finds a "good thing" and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). We are to bring "good" to our husband all the days of their life.

After ten almost eleven years,  it is encouraging to hear my husband praise me that I am  a good, godly wife for him. He shares often that he is blessed by me and that I am a gift from God.  As my husband has grown in the Lord, he knows that I am a gift from the Lord not from his own "choosing".  I believe I slip from being "good" for him to harmful" when I take my eyes off Jesus and expect things from my husband that the Lord wants to fill in his own way and time.  I see now that I am to be a gift from the Lord and to bring my husband good. We have learned and grown from one another through many tough times. Many would think we are an unlikely pair but our God has continued His faithfulness to bring us to one mind, one heart and one accord in Him for His Glory.

Scripture(s):
Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14 - House and riches are the inheritance from fathers but a wise, understanding and prudent wife is from the Lord.

Observation(s):
1.  A wife is a good gift from the Lord
2. God shows his goodness and favor when he gives a good wife
3. A good wife is to be wise
4. A good wife is to be understanding
5.  A good wife is to be prudent
6.  A wise, understanding, and prudent wife is not passed down from parents but given by the Lord

Definitions:
prudent - wise in handling practical matters, exercising good judgment, careful about one's conduct.

ezer - help; kenegdo - meet
The Hebrew expression ezer kenegdo appears, meaning "one who is the same as the other and who surrounds, protects, aids, helps, supports."

Application: I have read in God's word today that I am to behave well toward husband in the way I conduct myself with prudence, wisely manage the household, be understanding in my conduct as I raise our son for the Lord and be a Godly wife.  I have sometimes been an opponent rather than a good helpmeet to my husband. Many times, I have wanted to be right or express my opinion rather than exercising good judgment/prudence in what I am speaking and how I am speaking it.  Many times, I have just wanted my husband to change that moment rather than waiting on the Lord. I have expected from my husband rather than what Psalm 62:5 says which is "My soul waits in silence for God only. For my expectation is from Him." I continue to talk, tell my side, have my "court case" written out and argued as I continue to strive to have expectations met by my husband. The Lord has brought Psalm 62:5 to me many times.

In order to be a wise, understanding and prudent wife, God is teaching me to wait on Him and to have my expectations met my him. The words from the great hymn Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus say

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Moment by moment, God's grace turns my eyes to him so that he makes me and molds me into the good helpmeet I am to be to my husband.  If I am a gift from God to my husband, then I need to look to Him for my strength, wisdom, understanding and direction on prudence.

Prayer: 
Father, the giver of every good and perfect gift, I thank you that you are the same yesterday, today and forever. Your word stands as true. Thank you that in order to be wise, understanding and prudent, I need to rely on you and do what you say. I am sorry for the times that I have expected from my husband rather than you. I am sorry that I had bitter envy and selfishness when I didn't get my way. Please forgive me for not trusting in your goodness but demanding and striving to accomplish what I think is best. Thank you that you have continued to direct my path to be a good helpmeet to my husband. I thank you that my husband found me and sees me as a treasure and a good gift from you. I thank you that I can rest in my husband choosing me because he saw your goodness and He now gives you the glory for giving me as a good wife to him. Lord, thank you for all the grace and forgiveness for the many times I have not been a good helpmeet. Thank you that you put those times under the blood of Jesus and remember them no more.  Thank you that you continue to grow me in the soil of your goodness and godliness. Praise you from whom all blessings flow.

Proverbs 31 (Week 2)

VIRTUOUS, NOBLE WIFE

As I continue to study Proverbs 31, I am thinking more and more about excellent speech that glories God. I want my words like King Lemuel's mother to sink deep down into my son's heart and bring life. I want them to sink down into my heart and show Jesus to a others who do not know Him. I don't want my words to just be instructions or routine words. I need God's inspired word to bring life. As I read today's scripture Proverbs 31:10, I was reminded that the fear of the Lord brings wisdom. As I respect and I am in awe of Jesus, I want to do what His Word says. In the past as I studied wisdom, I was struck by Proverb 14:1 about a wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman tears down her house with her own hands. In the application section of today's verse I address this question I had to God "How do I build and not tear down?"

Scripture: Proverbs 31:10

Amplified Version: ¹⁰ A capable, intelligent, and ^[b]virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.

Observation(s):

1.      God made us to be capable to the tasks he sets before us

2.      God gave us intelligence and wisdom to do what he wants us to do as a wife.

3.      God gives us the virtues of Himself to bring Him Glory in our marriage.

4.      God calls us virtuous women more precious than jewels and thus we will be to our husbands as well. 

5.      God values us and we are to be valued more than rubies (or pearls

Application(s)

Today as I read Proverbs 31:10, I was reminded that a wise woman builds her house but a foolish woman tears it down.  Proverbs 14:1 says that a wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Likewise, Proverbs 9:1 says "wisdom has built her house, she has hewn out the seven pillars." I have been asking God "How does a wise woman build her house rather than tear it down?" I once came across something about the seven pillars that I have continued to think about. This study reminds me of the seven pillars as they apply to noble, virtuous character.

The seven qualities mentioned were what were found in the Beatitude (which I always like they are attitudes we are to be) and wisdom which is from above found in James (rather than demonic wisdom).

Matthew 5:3-10

³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The Qualities in the Beatitudes/Sermon on the Mount are:
1. Pure in Heart
2. Peacemakers
3. Meek
4. Poor in Spirit
5. Merciful
6. Hunger and thirst for righteousness
7. Mourn

Heavenly Versus Demonic Wisdom - James 3:13-18

¹³ Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. ¹⁵ This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. ¹⁶ For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. ¹⁷ But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. ¹⁸ Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

The Qualities in James 3:13-18 are:
1. Pure
2. Peaceable
3. Gentle
4. Willing to yield
5. Full of mercy and good fruits (good fruits could also go with 6 to correspond to above Sermon on the Mount)
6. Without partiality
7. Without hypocrisy

The definition of noble is possessing outstanding qualities and I believe the above seven are within that definition. Also virtuous can also mean righteous . God has been showing me in His word how to build a home that lasts. It is a home built on His wisdom and not my own reasoning or demonic wisdom which is from below.


Scripture: Proverbs 12:1A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

Observation: Proverbs 31:10 mentioned jewels and rubies and this scripture mentions crown. Both are symbols of royalty.

Application: to bring life and richness to husband rather than decay. God has been showing me how to defer to my husband to make him shine rather than take center stage.

Prayer: Lord, I pray I glorify you as I go about many ordinary tasks in my home. May I do everything as onto you. May I do it all with praise and thanksgiving. Make me a crown for my husband to wear. Thank you Jesus for giving me a new heart to know your word and to have power to obey. I pray my home is not a place of bitter envy or self seeking which is demonic wisdom. May I with your power and strength hew out the seven pillars of your wisdom as I stand in awe of you.

Proverbs 31 - Week 1

I have decided to do my first online Bible study with women I do not know. For many years, I did study after study at my church or in my home. My husband I because Small Group leaders and led groups for a few years. I did studies with friends and my Mom and Sister. Since having my son, I have been reconsidering what God wants me to do. In the last two years, I have done most studies alone and occasionally talk with my Mom or husband about what God is doing in my life.

I first became aware of the online Bible studies when the group was doing Mission of Motherhood which I wanted to do but it was almost over. I do have the book and it is wonderful. Proverbs 31 really stood out to me as my husband and I are raising our son for the Lord. We have prayed for his wife since he was born. We want to teach him and I want to model for him what a wife from the Lord looks like.

I have included the first week's scriptures and my brief observations, applications and prayer from our SOAP method of Bible study.

Goals for this Study:
1.to not just know Proverbs 31 but for God to make me more like Proverbs 31 woman
2.To model Proverbs 31 for my son so he knows what to look for in a wife
3.To pass down a heritage to son
4.To bless my husband daily
5.I have struggled at times in relationships because I end up taking care of people and become more like a mentor and counselor rather than just a friend. I would like someone to just fellowship with and share prayers, laughs, thoughts.
6. To stay on a house management schedule (stay organized) so that I am focusing on Jesus and what the Holy Spirit is guiding me to do in each moment with my son and for others rather than focusing on what I need to get done because things are disorganized. I want to use time wisely for God's glory.

Scripture: Proverbs 31:1-2

The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

 Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers! (son of my vows)

Observation:

1.      What King Lemuel’s mother spoke was INSPIRED

2.      Mother’s name not mentioned (nameless here)

3.      Told son to listen three times (this is important)

4.      Son from body and also son from prayers and vows of marriage and to God

Application:

1.      The words I speak should be prayed about first and directed by God

2.      Words are to bring life

Prayer:

Father, thank you that you provide all we need. You are the great Shepherd. I pray that the meditations of my heart and the words I speak would bring you glory. Father, may I have wisdom when I speak to my son. May my words be inspired by you and passed onto Nehemiah.

Scripture: Proverbs 31:3-4
³ Do not spend your strength^[a] on women,
    your vigor on those who ruin kings.

⁴ It is not for kings, Lemuel—
    it is not for kings to drink wine,
    not for rulers to crave beer,

Observation(s):

1.      Strength and vigor  are not to be given away recklessly

2.      Reminds me of Samson whom God gave extra strength to for a purpose – defeat Philistines and then Samson falls in love and tells the secret of his strength (which was in his hair). He was captured by the enemies. (God’s story doesn’t end there though. Samson prays for strength again at the end and God grants it. Samson brings down the whole building on His enemies)

3.      It says women not woman

Application:

1.      Use discernment in how you use strength and vigor

2.      Model for son that God made him first for Himself and then one day for one woman, His wife

3.      Share with son to crave God not women or drink

Prayer:

Jesus, Thank you that you give us power to obey you. We don’t have strength in ourselves but you strengthen us. May we not crave anyone or anything but you. Lord, I pray that you would teach me and guide me to be the wife and mother you want me to be. May I model and pass down to my son a legacy of relying on you as my strength.  Thank you that you are molding my young son into a Godly seed after your own heart. May he never give his strength to women. Save him for one precious lady. May he lead by your real love and not just emotions. We pray for wisdom, discernment and understanding as he grows and chooses a wife. Thank you that you direct our steps.

Scripture: Proverbs 31:5-6
⁵ lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
    and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
⁶ Let beer be for those who are perishing,
    wine for those who are in anguish!

Observation(s)

1.      Drinking can make you forget and then deprive others of things

2.      Beer and wine’s purpose here is for those dying and in anguish

 ****Didn't have much to write for this one but praying my son will stay away from drink, beer and wine.****

Scripture: Proverbs 31:7-9
⁷ Let them drink and forget their poverty
    and remember their misery no more.

⁸ Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.
⁹ Speak up and judge fairly;
    defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Observation(s):

1.      Alcohol has specific purposes – forget poverty and misery among others

2.      We are to judge fairly when we speak up (speak up, judge, defend)

Application(s):

1.      We are to have a voice who can’t speak for themselves  (sometimes deaf, children, people with no voice, ill, among many others)

2.      We are to speak up for the destitute, poor and needy( I think this includes physical poor but also spiritual poor)

Prayer:

     I pray you use my all for you and for people who are oppressed. May you lead me to those who don't know you. May I have my sandals of peace on always and carry your good news to those poor in spirit.

Loving the Word

We are not a perfect family and we have our share of family struggles. We are in a time of waiting and a time of truly relying on God as we have faced two miscarriages and two long term periods of unemployment that have eaten up our savings. We are rich in faith and. my prayer is for my family to crave Jesus more than anything. We are not sufficient of ourselves, we need Jesus and we thank Him for His Word to direct us in the way in which we should go.


Psalm 119:105 - Your Word is a lamp onto my feet and a light onto my path.

The love of reading possibly made it easy for me to love God's word. His Word is living and every time I read it, I learn more of Him, myself, His world and everything I need to know. The fruit of God's word being sown in me is reaping blessings of joy, praise, love, and kindness.

 I thank God for putting the love of God's Word in my heart. My son loves God's word. If I have anything I want to pass on, it is the love of God's Word, God Himself who is the living Word as he speaks to us through his love letters.

God has put His implanted word in my heart and it has blossomed into His riches of knowing Him. His Word has been a lamp and a light to guide our path as a family. Early on in parenthood, we were directed as to training up our child by having intentional family devotionals daily after dinner which include singing, reading from the Bible or a Bible story book and praying together as a family. We are learning and memorizing hymns and Bible verses. I find myself singing spontaneously. This is God's change in me. I use to just want the Sermon or the information but now I just glory in God as I sing and dance with JOY at Church and at home. Before having our son, we studied and read the Word but now we are more intentional because we have a legacy to pass on. We want our son to know the great things God has done and continues to do. 

Sometimes throughout our days, Nehemiah and I do crafts based on what we are learning in our family devotions. One site I use is: http://www.daniellesplace.com/html/bible_lessons.html.  I also have a book we picked at a yard sale for 10cents (God is certainly a great provider of what we need). This book has learning crafts we do to reinforce Bible lessons.  We also do a preschool curriculum based on God's word. In all we learn whether science, math, history, alphabet, or crafts, we want Nehemiah to know Jesus as the one sure foundation and to see everything through Jesus.

God through His Word and speaking to my heart has reminded me of family Worship time over and over when we forget or have company or eat out and are not home at our table. He always brings me back to the heart of worship. Our son, Nehemiah now calls it "church time". He knows Church isn't just for Sunday. Our home is an altar for the Lord.

In addition to God Himself speaking through His Word and His voice to my heart, he has brought books to me that were in align with His desires for our family. He also brought a pastor from Conklin, New York who did a sermon on Family Worship time. Again, it was in alignment with what God spoke into our hearts. The Family Altar/Worship/Devotional time evolves into other ideas of learning and enjoying but most important we have God's Word as our basis that never changes.

I pray God's Word implants in your heart. He desires time with you and may we pass on this one true love. Of course, reading God's word takes precedence but if you have time and want to see other resources, I have provided a partial list below.

Some of the Resources about aspects you can incorporate into Family Worship like Bible verses, Hymns/Songs, Catechism, Devotional stories, Bible Reading Plans
1. Training Children by Gustava M. Wonderly
2. Family Worship CD's by Dan White
3. The Family Worship Book by Terry L. Johnson (we had already implemented these aspects of Family Worship time before seeing this book but I think it is still helpful for those wanting to learn about Family Devotions as it lays out plans for you to follow)
4. God's Grand Vision for the Home by Dr. Rob Rienow
5. We use a book called My ABC Bible Verses by Susan Hunt
6. Training Hearts Teaching Minds by Starr Meade
7. Big Truths for Little minds by Susan Hunt
8. ABC I BELIEVE curriculum online

Dates with your Spouse

Valentines’ Day is approaching. Many times, I write, journal, do facebook updates or blog about motherhood . God, however, tells us that after God, our husbands are suppose to have second place in our hearts and then our children.  Therefore, I am writing a list of some of the things my husband and like to do on dates. We use to have date night every Friday. Now, we have dates at home, have family dates or get out occasionally for a couple date.

Date Ideas

-          We create our own drive in outside (set up projector outside against garage)

-          Go for a walk and feed the ducks and geese at the river (we do this as a couple and on family dates)

-          Study God’s word together

-          Read a book together

-          Scrapbook memories

-          Go to the local bookstore/coffee shop, each person picks a couple of books and comes back to the table and shares with each other what they chose. One time, my husband and I sat in the romance aisle looking for a good book together

-          Go to a planetarium show at the Roberson

-          Go to Kopernik and star gaze (great date)

-          We take walks across the downtown bridge at night

-          Write notes to family members and friends together

-          Sit at the computer and look at all of our old photos

-          Walk down Memory Lane: go to places where you first had dates. For Us, we have memories of Denny’s, nature preserve at Binghamton University, walks from BU to Walmart, inline skating.

-          Picnics in the living room

-          Bike rides

-          Watch a sunset

-          We love First Friday (downtown Binghamton)

-          We make garbage pie/everything pizza or barbecue chicken pizza from scratch

-          Paint a piece of pottery. We did a nice butterfly together.

-          Make homemade cheesecake and iced coffee

-          Head to the highest point in town and enjoy the view and the stars at night

-          Write poems and read them to each other (my husband does this for me)

-          Foot rubs (ok my husband does this more than me)

-          Antique shops, garage sales or auctions

-          Basketball challenges

-          Go to a driving range

-          Pillow fight after a movie and popcorn

-          Get a pair of binoculars, head to finch hollow, take a long hike and look for birds

-          Go on a photo shoot

-          Make a time capsule and look at it in ten years

-          Pray, worship and sing to God together

-          Bake together

-          Go Carts on Front Street

-          Game it in Endicott, NY

-          Go to Dennys and ask for a vanilla coke (they are so good)

-          Bowling

-          Chucky Cheese without the children and you have to play the games

-          Cutler Garden on Front Street – take a stroll, look at the beautiful flowers in Spring/Summer and have a picnic in the Gazebo

-          Play board games

-          Pick berries and make jam/jelly together

-          Make snow angels and then go inside for hot chocolate

-          Scavenger hunts

-          Short day trips – we just love exploring the New York State area and finding new, fun things to do. We do this as a family now and not just the two of us.

-          Read joke books and laugh together (one of my husband’s favorite dates)

-          Paddle boats at Nathaniel Cole Park

-          Fly a kite (can even make a homemade kite together)

-   Windy Hill Candle Factory - Port Crane, NY (we like smelling all the candles - well I do anyway). They also have a candy store there now too.

- Whole in the Wall - great healthy food and music

There are so many creative ideas you can do to build a stronger relationship with your spouse. Feel free to share some ideas.